M&Ms, Olympic Training and Petty Annoyances

My DH asked if he'd have to get in some oxygen for my training sessions for the Knitting Olympics. He's a funny, funny guy. All the training aids I need are in the pretty bowl in the photo. I am not a member of Team Chocolate by accident. I love M&Ms. You'll probably notice that there are no brown M&Ms left in my bowl. This is not a subliminal indication of prejudice in any way. It's only cuz, well, see, I like to eat my Ms one color at a time and this time the first color is brown. Now, I want you to know that I'm not anal about my Ms and I'm happy to share them. So if you walk by my bowl and idly grab a handful I don't mind what colors you have grabbed but *I* like to eat them one color at a time. I like to see the relationship the colors have to one another which changes when you randomly remove a color. It amuses me, so? ;P

Last night I decided to use the Superbowl time to train for the Knitting Olympics. After reading the pattern eleventynine times I realized that without materials in my hands I plain didn't GET it. So I got out some waste yarn and the needles and tried to make some sense of it. This entire concept is new to me. Two socks, two circular needles, two balls of yarn, knit at the same time, together, both socks on both needles. Confused? Imagine how I feel. See, I LOVE my DPNs. My favorite pair of needles in the entire needle collection is a set of bamboo DPNs, size 2.5, about 5 inches long. I use them for all kinds of things and if you were to tell me I could only keep one set of needles, they would be the ones, hands down, no argument. But the object of the Olympics is to challenge my skills, right? To make a rather longish story shortish, here is how the training session went:

1. Juggle 2 needles and 2 balls of yarn. Read pattern. Twice.

2. Cast on for 2 socks with 2 balls of yarn on 2 needles while juggling aforementioned objects AND reading pattern.

3. Read pattern again (and again to be sure) and realize that it's written wrong and you can't possibly "turn" your work now to knit so skip that step.

4. While continuing to juggle 2 needles and 2 balls of yarn, knit across cast on row of 1st sock. Realize that working yarn for 2nd sock is trapped somewhere below and can't come up between the two socks on the double needles and how in the good lord's name are you supposed to knit like that?!

5. Reread pattern while juggling 2 needles and 2 balls of yarn to see if pattern explains a solution for this dilemma and when it doesn't...

6. Rip out the 2 needles, roll the yarn back onto 2 balls and throw the pattern across the room.

7. Eat M&Ms.

Repeat steps 1 through 7 until you feel like stabbing pattern repeatedly with both needles in frustration. Remind self of skill level and years of experience and get out second Cafe du Monde fancyschmancy glove to knit instead while cheering for Seattle. Not that I'm really a Seattle fan but someone in this house had to root for them. Maybe daylight and a quieter house will be helpful so swear to self that you'll try again in the morning. After all, if it were easy, it wouldn't be the Olympics, right?

So today, after DH and No. 1 DS had gone to work, No. 2 DS had gone to school and the DInLaws were off to pool therapy, I tried again. I'm happy to report that I made better progress. I think I have the start figured out altho' the mystery of the working yarn in the middle is still perplexing. Each row I stranded off enough yarn to work the few stitches that are there and we'll see how that works out. Reagrdless of what the instructions say I'm going to try keeping the working yarn *above* the needles and see if that works at my next training session. The increases were no trouble until I read this helpful little instructional tip: "Continue working 1 knit round and 1 increase round until the toe section fits snugly around your toes. You will be trying the sock on frequently as you knit." WONderful! Except I'm not making the socks to fit MY feet! Now, No. 2 DS is an easygoing sort and while I think I can probably sneak his dear foot out of the blankets in the middle of the night without disturbing him at all should it be necessary, I doubt the middle school will approve of me popping in two or three or twelve times a day to fit his half knitted socks during class, Olympics or not! So now I'm not sure if this is the right project at all. >sigh<

Stay tuned for Olympic updates!

Bring on the annoyances! Other than the KO socks dilemma...a brief list of things that have intruded into my peace of mind lately...

1. Fast food counter help who tell you that their particular franchise doesn't accept the coupon you have when in reality it's about them not knowing how to key it in.
2. Endless spam in my email from Christian Singles dating services. Don't even get me started.
3. People in the 20 items or less line who break their 3 carriages of groceries up into SEVENTEEN separate "orders" to meet the 20 items or less designation. Really, do you think you're clever now?
4. Consistently getting 7 or 8 Chicken Fries at Burger King when I order a 9 piece! Sheesh, people! Can't you recognize an addict when you see one?! I NEED my 9 pieces and if I didn't, I would order 6!

And how was *your* day?